Definitely, boys start major changes during this period: physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially (rattle off Schwab Learning outline) And since they’re changing, definitely, we cannot continue treating them in exactly the same way. ---My Grade 4 class last year vs the Grade 5 class I am handling now Some who change physically very slowly, we tend to treat them still as kids. Those who change very fast, we might tend to treat them beyond their age. If you remember, Southridge used to be divided into Modules: A,B,C,D---which used to correspond more to the actual stages of psychological development of the boys. However, for purposes of Dep Ed alignment, the more traditional and common division according to Primary, Intermediate & High School was followed. But the changes in the boys remain the same. Given these changes, teachers in IS are expected to: start training the students for independent work and self-determination; expected to train students for greater responsibility Principle: What the students can do, they should do! Concrete applications: classroom decorations; student leadership and governance; note-taking; individual study, etc. It is more beneficial for the boys to DO and to make mistakes, than never to do at all. The tendency is for the parents to do the task themselves…but in the long run, it may not be formative, not even a learning experience. The sooner the students experience “failures”, “difficulties”, “hardships”…the better for their character. Shielding them from these hardships/difficulties is very damaging to the personality and to the personhood of the students. Some parents may have been unprepared for the big change in the Corpus Christi decoration, in the PQF set up, etc. Obviously, students cannot do things as well as parents (or adults) do….but even the “clumsy” or “poorer” outputs are part of the learning process. Complete with all their mistakes and imperfections. This is the only way to start giving them wings to fly. In studies, independence is the key at this point. What the students can already do, they should start doing on their own. Responsibility and Self-determination Proficiency and Self-sufficiency
Hard to let go for some….but in the long run, the rewards are far greater for both the parents and the students: industry, self-motivation, problem-solving skills, proficiency and competence, fulfillment of the goal to make them life-long learners
Practical Consequences: At this stage, more and more, the role of the parents is to train them in their study habits, not in re-teaching to them the lessons taught in school: advertisement: Geared to Achieve Study Manual At this stage, more and more, the parents make the students study on their own: At this stage, more and more, the students should take responsibilities; even house chores are expected to be more… and bigger At this stage, more and more, the parents’ role changes from that of “full control” in Primary… to “direction” and “supervision” in IS and HS
A Principle: All throughout, the parents collaborate with the school in this most important task of educating the children. As such, it is essential that parents see the teachers as partners and collaborators…. Not as enemies or opponents. Should there be erring teachers…. those who turn in unsatisfactory service, we collaborate with the school by helping them with our timely feedback…not just for the sake of opposing them or criticizing them, but to make them improve. We talk to them, get the story straight, then make necessary suggestions/recommendations that will redound to better help for the student. In everything we do, it will always have to be for the best of every student. We refrain from criticizing the school or the teachers that will develop resentment of the student towards authority, or the school itself in general. For the sake of the student himself. After giving the feedback to the teacher and the problem/issue is not resolved, we go to the next level: the immediate superior/s of the concerned teacher: Principal, Vice-Principals. If we are unsatisfied with the result, we go to the next higher level: ADAS/Executive Director….etc. This is one of the best traits of this school: openness to feedback and suggestions, openness to collaboration. Let’s face it, the accessibility of teachers and school officers here is just something special. When we do things together, we stand a better chance of success in this most important task of formation.
PREPARING YOUR SONS FOR CONFIRMATION
I am No. 10 in a family of 10 kids
I always wanted to have my way. And if I couldn’t, I run to my Mom.
My Mom died a week before my graduation from College: phone calls in the morning which I couldn’t even answer
woke up crying in the middle of the night, dreamt of my Mom singing for me
when I was a kid, my Mom used to force me to sing for her, rewarding me afterwards with santol from the tree
I used to wake up in the middle of the night to check if she was still breathing
My prayer everyday was: Lord, please help me to die ahead of my Mom and Dad. Because I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing them dead.
Many nights, I would feign sickness/coughing and sniffing, just for her to get up and make me take medicine: I knew she would get up. It never failed
At home, it was very clear that money was not an easy thing. We had to work for it
I never saw my parents quarreling in front of us. I caught them 1x or 2x arguing inside their room. And they deliberately distanced themselves from us to argue. Never within our earshot.
At age of 58, my Dad and Mom would still go out on dates.
My Dad used the belt and broom on me until Grade 4 or 5.
I was once a teenager myself: rebellious, hard-headed, self-serving selfish inconsiderate teen--------used to slam the door on my Dad, couldn’t stand being with him in the same room, always wanted to avoid him
But it was all just a phase: not that I didn’t love them anymore. I was just going through a stage that I myself couldn’t understand, couldn’t fully control. YOUR KIDS LOVE YOU, even if they don’t show it. Even if their actions may seem to say they hate you. They may even say it: like NEMO did.
My Dad showed up for the First Communion: for me, he was like a “God” in San Beda . For him to be in my First Communion, it must be a very important activity!
They once saw me in the Church with my friends, doing the Way of the Cross. I thought it was pogi points for me….
They put a lot of premium on family prayers: novena to St. Joseph, St. Benedict, Holy Souls in Purgatory, Guardian Angels, Mary’s feasts, etc. etc. etc.